Dog Breath

What is it that makes a dog's breath so heinous? Surely, the fact that they never brush their teeth is a factor. Certainly, the fact that they are perfectly content to eat disgusting things is a factor. Absolutely, a lack of mouthwash, floss, and other dental hygiene tools affects the expiration of your local hound. But, how long does it take?

Now, Ripken has had terrible dead fish breath for a long time. We have tried everything short of actually brushing his teeth, a practice I expect he could not stand still for. After all, he won't let us trim his nails, and we can barely look in his mouth if we have to (you know, for safety reasons, like: let's see if he really does have that missing twist tie, or if he's just making pretend to chew it while we look on the floor for it). We give him treats that supposedly "brush while he chews!!!!" He has a rope toy that "flosses while he chews!!!!" We give him the occasional Greenie, which is supposed to "freshen his breath while he chews!!!!" Whatever. The dog's breath is awful, still.

Parker, on the other hand, after just a few months of life, still has pleasant puppy breath. However, if you had a pile of the stuff that he most likely has stuck between his teeth, and you left it sit around for two months, I reckon it would begin to get a bit ripe. I will spare you a list of the organic matter that the dog has chewed, licked, or ingested. Suffice it to say, it would be a stinky list...even the normal stuff. Yet, he still hasn't reached a stage where you need a gas mask to look him in the face at close range.

So, I am wondering, when does it happen? When is that day when I get a whiff of Parker and cringe? And, more importantly, why will it have happened? What will be different on that day than the previous day? And what if I gave him a mint?

This is just one of those things. One of those things that you think about when you are sitting around on a Tuesday afternoon with two sleeping dogs at your feet. Life could be worse.